The Grandparent Clock
By Mary Jane Horton
I want grandchildren . Plain and simple . Yet , considering that my kids are only 22 and 19 years old , I don ’ t want grandchildren . Do I sound confused ? Yes . Am I alone in this ? No . With more and more women ( and men ) having children when they are older , the biological clock , and yearning to be a grandparent is ringing its alarm all over the country . We know , intellectually , that we have to wait , but we don ’ t want to .
Let ’ s face it , being a grandparent is a big payoff , especially for those of us in the “ helicopter parent ” generation . We did everything for our kids . Watched them , educated them , planned play dates and afterschool classes . Now we just want to be able to play with a baby and give her back . We want the cuddles and coos without the responsibility . Who can blame us ?
So , herewith , some ideas about how to get your grandchild “ fix ” before you actually get your own grandchild .
Babysit . Perhaps you live in a neighborhood with lots of kids . What parent would not want to take up an offer of free babysitting from the nice women – or couple – down the street . With the child in such close proximity , you may even ingratiate yourself into his life and be invited to birthday party , recitals , etc .
Volunteer . Most hospitals have a children ’ s ward where you can read to kids and visit often . It isn ’ t quite the same as having someone in your neighborhood , because when the child leaves hospital , you probably won ’ t be able to maintain contact , but it still works for the short term . Many pre-schools also need an extra set of hands and laps and often take volunteers . You will likely have to have a background check and perhaps be fingerprinted .
Become a CASA . Court appointed special advocates are volunteers who work within the foster care system to help one child at a time . They talk to their doctors and care givers , teachers , parents and therapists to make sure that the children ’ s lives are going as well as possible even though they have been taken out of their homes of
origin – usually because of abuse or neglect .
Offer a skill . While the children may be older , you can offer a local class on a special talent you have for no – or little – payment . Can you knit , crochet , make great pumpkins , or write ? Get a class going .
Be outrageous . A friend of mine actually went up to a parent and child in a store and offered to be a surrogate grandparent . It worked for him because it turned out that the grandparents of the child lived far away , and the parent was overworked and thankful . It may work for you , too , but if you decide to take that route , do it gingerly .
Ask to be invited . You probably have friends who have older children and grandkids . Just be honest and ask to be invited when their kids come with grandkids . They will understand , and you can help out by doing some cooking and cleaning during the get together . Who knows , you might be asked back often .
Mary Jane Horton has been a writer / editor for 30 years . She has written for such magazines as Runner ’ s World , Fodor ’ s Guides , Time , Ms ., Shape , Prevention , Living Fit , Woman ’ s Day special interest publications , to name a few , and worked as an editor for Fit Pregnancy magazine . Mary currently writes for Fiftyisthenewfifty a wry and wise online magazine devoted to those who are middle aged and people who accept the fact that they will get there someday .
20 DALLAS COUNTY Living Well Magazine | JULY / AUGUST 2017