July 2017| 53
This week we ve had rain, wind, sun and even fog
greeting us as we set off in the morning. We usually start
by cursing and blinding about our aches and pains from
the day before. The fog was particularly memorable as
it was accompanied by a 6km climb, meaning not only
could we not feel our legs, but we couldn’t see 20 metres
in front of us, so we had no idea when it would end!
Normally, the first hour of the cycle is the hardest. The
stiffness in our legs has, at times, made getting out of the
sleeping bags a challenge in itself, let alone cycling up a
mountain. Somehow the human mind forgets the pain it
went through days, even hours before and allows you to
convince yourself that despite not being a professional
athlete you are still able to lug 55kg of weight on two
wheels over some of Africa’s most intense mountain
climbs. God knows how.
Brunch usually starts at around 9am. It consists of one
of the finest meals the lunch bar . To those of you
that are unfamiliar with said lunch bar, you’re missing
out. The crispy inner peanut butter avoured comb is
delicately wrapped in Cadbury s finest milk chocolate
and extends for at least six big mouthfuls. No matter the
time, altitude, weather or dietary requirements (which are
quite specific for this trip lunch bars are unrivalled and
essential. Theo has become the resident king of the lunch
bar, munching on at least three before lunch.
road, that becomes slightly more of a challenge. Instead,
we have so far used a mixture of cunning, charm and St
Christopher’s luck! We normally arrive in the place we
are aiming for between . - pm. Seeing as it gets dark
at . pm on the dot, cutting it fine can be a dangerous
game. Especially as our main rule is no cycling at night.
Usually on arriving at the location, Charlie turns on the
charm offensive and attempts to convince the owner of
the smartest guest house in the area that we would love
to camp on their premises. When this doesn’t work, we
send in the reinforcements. Johnno steps up the haggling
process Theo whips out his phone with usually less than
15 rand of credit which equates to roughly 85 pence.
and starts to madly research the nearest guest house or
hostel. This process usually lasts as long as it takes for
him to run out of credit or for the light to fade.
So far this has been a tremendous success. One
memorable night, after being told the local guesthouse
was full and we would have to cycle another 15km on top
of the 75km we had already completed that day, we went
round the corner and found the rival hotel which kindly
said we could sleep on their lawn for free. This seemed
great until we saw the proximity to the river; 20m away
there were signs saying no swimming or fishing beware
of hippos and crocodiles! At that point, we realised
perhaps it wasn t the most generous offer. Bikepackers
can’t be choosers, as they say, and luckily we survived,
albeit with noisy rustling in the bushes throughout the
night!
Actual lunch is tricky. Unfortunately, we’ve worked out
that roads, and subsequently the roadside cafés, were
designed with cars in mind. The distances between food
stops are vast. There isn t, therefore, always an option
to eat lunch at lunch time. We have to have our wits
about us from 11am to 4pm. KFC is a regular; Nando’s is
a highlight. Anything else is a risk. Theo often settles for
another lunch bar. It’s an amusing process to go through watching three
guys you thought you knew exceptionally well go through
a full life cycle from near starvation to overloading with
food on a daily basis. It provides a fascinating insight into
their different characters. This is one of the areas where
our teamwork has really started to pay off. veryone is
very generous with their supplies, and nobody judges a
man who has a second or even third course at dinner. Or
in my case, a full steak and chips followed by a burger
and chips for pudding, followed by pudding, followed
by some more chips, which actually happened on two
consecutive nights. That is one thing we have noticed,
being out on the bike for an average of nine hours a day
means we can literally eat whatever we want!
The next daily challenge we have is finding somewhere to
stay. As we are carrying our tents, we have the capacity
to pretty much sleep anywhere, in theory. But when
you’re half way up a mountain and there is no side of the What’s great though, is although we are perfectly
capable of tucking into a menu, we can also fend for
ourselves. Our culinary dishes have stretched from pasta
and pasta sauce to noodles and tinned fish and, on