"For me, I was really scared to ask some of those things. I thought, ‘Oh my goodness, we're totally not going to agree on something. There's going to be this huge thing, and we're going to break up.’ But God showed me, ‘You know Jill, every relationship does not end in marriage. And even if this relationship does not, this is still for My glory; and if you keep your focus on Me then you're still going to live through this. I'm still going to grow you through it. And that's why you do the courtship method. It's not because it looks good; no, it's because if it doesn't work out, you don't want to have that physical side that you're all wrapped up in.’
Because we were long distance, it really worked in our favor, because then we had to ask more questions. 'Cause you can't just sit there on the phone like you can when you're hanging out and be like, ‘Hey uhhh...’ like you sometimes do when you're just hanging out. We would read scripture and then we would discuss it, or we would watch a sermon and then discuss it. Just practical things like that to make wise use of our time.”
As our conversation came to an end, I asked for one last tidbit of advice for all of us single girls, who are patiently waiting in the wings for God to move our love stories into motion and whisper, “Action!”
"Hmm..” Jill thought, “That's really good. I would say, like Scripture says, just to make wise use of your time as a young person. And somewhere, I don't remember the exact reference, but where it's talking about you as a young person, don't let people look at you and say, ‘Oh you're only this age, or that age,’ but really be that example of a Godly young person. Instill those skills in your life that are going to benefit you later on. Seeing as a single person all the things you can do, and pack your toolbox (as my Dad says) so that God can use it for ministry later. And for young girls, I would say keep your focus on the Lord. Because that's the kind of girl that a Godly guy is looking for; someone who is committed to focus on God and who is not looking to the right or to the left, but straight forward on Him. Be open and communicate with your parents or your Godly mentor, whoever that person is in your life. That was huge for me.
I already had that open line of communication between my parents and me, so then when I got married, it made it easier to transfer that to my husband. So yeah, communicate with your parents, or whoever you go to for counsel. Work on becoming the Godly woman that a Godly guy would want to marry.
When you're struggling, thinking about guys and having a hard time staying focused, pray for your future husband because you never know what he might be going through. When you think that you might have it hard, when its like, ‘I'm drowning in a sea of wrong thoughts,’ you never know how God can be taking your future husband through something. When I was a teenager, there was a period of time when I was really struggling. I was talking with my Mom a lot during those couple years. Just thinking, ‘Oh my goodness, I'm just being bombarded!’ And I think hormones have a lot to do with it,” she laughs, “but I was like ‘I am so overwhelmed! I feel like such a horrible person because all these wrong thoughts and all this stuff,’ and she would just say, ‘Pray, pray, pray!’ So she was praying with me, quoting scripture, memorizing scripture, and so on.
But it was really neat to see later on when Derick and I got married how this worked out.
We were talking one day about prayer and prayer targets and times when you pray more than other times, like when you're struggling. And I was telling him about that time during my teenage years when I was praying a lot for my future husband because I was struggling, and thought well maybe he was too.
And Derick said, ‘What time was that?’ We figured it out, and I think it was about 2008. He said that was the same year that his Dad died, and he was going through a whole lot of stuff with his family, and it was a really rough time for him. So it was really neat to see later on, how God did that!
You don't always know at that time why God may be allowing you more struggle, and that you have to pray more. And it was during those few years when Derick was needing more prayer and support, that God was also using me to pray for him before I even knew who he was!”
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