Crown of Beauty Magazine The Dreamers Issue | Page 42

If there’s one thing I’ve always loved to do, its sing. My mom swears I sang even when I was a baby in my crib. Then when I was six I started writing songs. I still have journals of songs I wrote when I was 8 and just learning who God was to me. I have journals of songs I wrote when I was 11 and felt bullied and excluded by the girls I called friends. I used to dream that the world would hear those songs. While many little girls would fantasize about meeting the man of their dreams or going to prom in a limo (which is not to say I didn’t think about these things) I would have fantasies about playing packed stadiums to thousands of screaming fans.

For my sixteenth birthday, my parents gave me the chance to record a few of my songs. They bought me 25 hours of studio time with a very talented producer an hour away. I chose three songs that I felt were my best and the recording sessions began. As you can imagine, I was elated. All those little girl fantasies about sold out concerts came back to me. Madison Square Garden does bear my name, after all, right?

I’d love to tell you, sister, that my motives and heart were always pure in pursuing this dream. I’d love to say that the only reason I’ve ever wanted to sing to millions is so that they may hear the name of Jesus. Make no mistake; I would love nothing more than to sing songs that put Jesus’s name in lights for the world to see. However, most of the time, what I wanted to see was my name in lights. I wanted to make my name famous, not the name of Jesus. I’d also love to tell you that I had this one great moment where I broke down in repentance and gave up the notion of my own fame completely. Sadly, this is not how my stubborn human nature operates. And God knows this very well. He has to daily bring me back to full surrender; to a place where I exchange my dreams for his. A place where I long not for my own name to be in lights, but his.

I released my first EP in January 2013. I titled it “An Offering” because that’s what I wanted the project to be: a humble offering from me to God. I didn’t charge for the CDs, but simply asked for a donation that would go to various mission offerings taken up at my church. The proceeds from iTunes and other streaming sites go to mission projects as well. This is the second part of my offering; not only giving Him back the talents He first gave me, but the money as well.

I could tell you that fame and fortune weren’t still alluring at time—problem is, I would be lying. The world and its draws will always have a certain appeal as long as we draw breath. But these things are a mirage and only temporary. We were made for much more than the temporary. The lights shining on our name will dim after a short time. The lights we shine in Jesus’ name, however, are eternal.

~*~

My Name In Lights

By Madison Harris

Photo credit: www.freedigitalphotos.net by Aleksa D,