The shocking story of a young girl who nearly lost her sanity to the wonderful world of pinning. Read with caution. This account may encourage sudden urges to pin.
If you are a recovering addict, please seek professional help before proceeding.
Days began to pass so quickly that I scarcely had time to wave at them as they went by. Sleep? Who needs it. Food? Pshh. I have 367 boards full of delicious recipes, and looking at them is more than enough. Who cares that I haven't showered within the past 2 weeks. I have a recipe for homemade shampoo that only requires salt, Kool-Aid and the tears of a young alpaca! How many years did I spend trapped in the arms of Pinterest? Only the Lord knows. Eventually, woodland animals made nests in my hair. I didn't mind the company, because my family had long since given up hope on me. Could I blame them? Of course not. To be honest, I scarcely remembered who they were. Pinterest was my family now. Pinterest was my mother, father, siblings, and obnoxious uncle. It was my life.
And then ... it happened. Call it whatever you want, but I stand firm in my belief that it was divine intervention. Flashes and sparks erupted in front of my eyes, sending me flying backwards in a panicked frenzied. I could only watch in horror as my computer finally exploded into a pile of smoldering ashes, no doubt brought on by years of too much mouse-clicking. I could scarcely believe it. Shock and despair covered me like a wet blanket.
I wailed so loudly that the chipmunk family living in my hair got up and fled the premises immediately. I'm really not sure how long I mourned the loss of all my plans and dreams, but when I finally opened my tear-stained eyes, I noticed the sun was shining outside. Aah ... the sun. Something I hadn't experienced for quite some time. It moved something deep inside of me, and for the first time in years, I crawled outside to reintroduce myself to the real world.
So here I sit today, somehow alive to tell you this story. And I don't tell you this to scare you, my friend. I don't tell you this to give you nightmares. I only tell you this to give you hope. Maybe I'm crazy, but deep down I believe that I wasn't the only one who suffered greatly from that disease called Pinterest. I wasn't the only one who sacrificed relationships and personal hygiene. Somewhere out there, an innocent soul is trapped amongst the cat pictures and inspirational quotes. And if my story can help that one person, then perhaps all of this was worth it.
My name is Alyssa J. Gibbs. I'm 18 years old. And I have survived the Pinterest Apocalypse.
Alyssa is from a little-bitty town in Illinois.
She loves Jesus, fashion, penguins, sprinkles, coffee, Australian accents, music, laughing, rainy days, and life in general. Her dream is to one day travel the world while reading good books, taking lots of pictures, and eating delicious food.
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