3 . Trade in the Time-Out chair for a calming corner . Using time-in , where you go with your child to co-regulate , is very helpful in encouraging eventual self-regulation . When we isolate children during moments of distress , we only trigger alarm and add more stress . If we calm our own fears and lean in , offer teaching tools to help them calm their minds and bodies , and then discuss solutions for better behavior , we are likely to see much less defiance . Tools such as the Time- In Toolkit from Generation Mindful are very helpful for teaching emotions regulation .
“ If we calm our own fears and lean in ... we are likely to see much less defiance .”
4 . Up the quality time spent laughing and connecting . A lot of times , in the daily busyness of life , parenting can become somewhat automatic . We get through all the daily duties and we ’ re there but not present . And during particularly frustrating seasons of life , we may spend more time correcting or admonishing than enjoying one another ’ s company . These things take a toll on attachment , and some repair work may be needed . Start speaking lots of positive statements to her as well . Tell her what she ’ s doing well and how much you adore her more often than usual .