Every child is born programmed to latch onto at least one individual they can rely on to understand and respond to their needs . It ’ s vital to the emotional , relational and even physical health of a child . What British psychologist John Bowlby noticed after World War II , was that children living in orphanages were miserable despite being warm , clothed and well-fed . Bowlby deduced the problem stemmed from the one thing they didn ’ t have – a primary caregiver . Since the children had no one to attach to emotionally , they lacked a reliable source of reassurance , encouragement and comfort .
Without this secure framework , a child would face challenges forming future secure relationships . Furthermore , the stress caused by lacking this fundamental need could even cause a child to be susceptible to more illnesses , memory loss and being overweight .
So what exactly does secure attachment look like ? Before you begin to feel the weight of the world on your already burdened shoulders , take comfort in knowing that it isn ’ t through perfect parenting . In fact , one of the best ways to raise a secure child is through the mistakes we make as parents . Here are five ways to form a secure attachment with your child .
Comfort through empathy . Children feel secure when they are allowed to feel , even when those feelings don ’ t always feel good . Feeling sad , nervous or angry are natural emotions . But children can ’ t feel safe to feel if their parents or the primary caregiver are unaccepting of these emotions . Discomforts around certain emotions are usually passed on from parent to child . So it ’ s important to identify what emotions are uncomfortable to you .
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