Boys are ready for a change . According to Reichert , a number of recent surveys have shown that young men today are more invested in taking care of their mental health than their physical wellbeing and are tired of experiencing an “ epidemic of anguish .”
Miller told me , “ Any time we shame , ignore , or punish a young child for crying , we ’ re circumventing nature ’ s brilliant process of brain adaption . A young child who is repeatedly dismissed or treated harshly for expressing their vulnerability will begin over time to suppress their feelings to try and stop their tears from coming . Their emotional hurt will still be present , but instead of being processed through tears of sadness , it may be expressed as aggression because the young child cannot release their frustration in a soft and vulnerable way .”
While we may be fooled into thinking we are “ toughening them up ” or “ making them strong ,” what we are really doing when we shame our boys for expressing their tender emotions is burying emotional hurt that will have to resurface in some other , likely destructive , way . Forcing them to stuff it down is making them sick , but when we know better , we can do better . There is hope for today ’ s young men .
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