Creative Child May 2019 | Page 39

Since you don’t want this to happen to your child, keeping him from playing outside with their friends for the next couple of days might help him realize real life repercussions to lying. Reward truth-telling. Telling the truth requires bravery and the discipline to think before speaking. So the next time your child tells the truth when it wasn’t convenient to do so, reward your child with encouraging words. Positive feedback loops are even more powerful and effective than negative ones. Provide empathy. Don’t forget that you won’t be the only one disappointed with your child. They will be disappointed in themselves too. Remind them that their mistakes don’t determine who they are. And explain that while everyone lies at some point in their life, not everyone continues to lie. One of the most powerful ways to provide empathy to your child is by sharing a personal story about how you lied when you were a child. I once did this with my child and I saw her countenance change in a sudden flash from one of self-loathing to an encouraged child ready to move on from her mistake. All kids lie at some point. It’s a part of the developmental process. While no parent wants to see their child continue to lie, an over-the-top punishment might be counter-productive. The best way to encourage your child to tell the truth is by seeking to understand the motive for lying, creating an atmosphere where he can be honest with you, and following through with consequences that are appropriate. 38