To turn behavior issues into teachable moments, ask
yourself two questions.
What is my child’s behavior telling me?
What does my child need right now?
It isn’t always immediately apparent what is driving your
child’s behavior, so a good place to start to determine if your
child’s basic needs are being met. Those needs include:
• Safety and security
• A warm, loving environment
• Feeling loved and liked
• Feeling attached or connected to primary caregivers
• Structure
• Consistency
• Good nutrition
• Adequate sleep
• Exercise
• Positive role models
• Feeling valued, respected, and understood
• Feeling capable
• Freedom to express feelings
• Emotional support
Finally, what is it that your child needs right now? What
can you teach her or what need can you meet that will help
her do better? We are here to teach and guide our children
through childhood, and we become better able to do that
when we ask the questions that get to the root of the problem
rather than simply asking, “How long should I take away
your electronics?” The key to good behavior isn’t fearing
good punishments but feeling good about oneself, one’s
relationships, and one’s place in the world.
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