Praise the effort not the result . When parents focus on a child ’ s effort , it helps kids do the same . When you say things like , “ Good job for not giving up ,” instead of “ you ’ re so smart ,” it reinforces the idea that what matters is their effort and not some fixed attribute they can ’ t change . It ’ s important to keep in mind that any self-disparaging talk would only negate what we aim to teach . Make an effort to adopt positives mantras yourself . And whenever your child utters phrases like , “ I can ’ t do this ,” or “ I don ’ t want to do this anymore ,” remind them to replace them with one of the mantras you use .
Encourage by example . The Duckworth lab ’ s research , which was undertaken in partnership with classroom teachers , showed that students became less frustrated with the learning process and put forth more effort when they understood even experts struggle to learn their craft . Share your own experiences of being gritty or introduce gritty role models through books so they can begin to understand , as Albert Einstein said , “ genius is 99 percent perspiration and 1 percent inspiration .”
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