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So , that leaves this question - How do we grow and reach our goals without the judgement and shame ? The answer is self-compassion . According to The National Institute for Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine ( NICABM ), there are 5 key steps for transforming shame with self-compassion .
• Understand that shame is normal and is the brain ’ s way of dealing with the threat of disconnection .
• Label shame for what it is : An emotion . Giving it a name helps you get some distance between you and the emotion .
• Replace judgement with curiosity . Try to be curious about your emotions rather than judgmental of them . This can help you shift into a more caring and understanding perspective .
• Acknowledge your inner critic . Meet it with compassion and remind yourself that you are okay as you are and doing the best you can .
• Practice what is helpful , not harmful . Try to speak to yourself as you would a friend . Offer yourself constructive correction rather than shaming self attacks .
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