Shame researcher Brene Brown says , “ You either walk inside your story and own it , or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness .” The phrase “ hustle for worthiness ” hit me hard . I believe in the decade since I began a journey to improve myself as a mother , and in the decades before that when I was always trying to improve myself in some area , I ’ ve really just been hustling for worthiness . I ’ ve been desperate to prove to myself that I ’ m okay , that I ’ m good enough , and that I ’ m lovable . That ’ s where the trap is . No matter how far I ’ ve come , there ’ s always further to go . Fixed the yelling habit ? Well , I could definitely spend more quality time . Spending tons of quality time ? Great , but I still feel unworthy . I think I could certainly improve my communication skills . What I ’ m finally just now realizing is that no amount of hustle will fix shame or guilt or low self-esteem .
In her podcast titled UFYB 124 : Self-Improvement Shame , Coach Kara Loewentheil talks about the important difference between self-improvement and self-growth . She says , “ There ’ s a big difference between growth and improvement as concepts ... Growth means change , evolution , learning . It doesn ’ t make you a better person . It doesn ’ t mean you ’ re improved . You didn ’ t go from a C to an A . There is no rating ... There ’ s inherent judgement in the concept of improvement .”
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