editor’s pick
• Send the right message. Asking your child the right
questions is a good place to start. For as many times as
you ask your child about how they performed on a test
or a game, ask them what they did to extend kindness.
Showing kindness, much like any other worthwhile
activity, requires practice. And when they do practice
kindness, be sure to praise him for it. And because kindness
and success aren’t mutually exclusive, if they end up
reaching a goal, pay attention to how it was achieved. If
the accomplishment was carried out with collaboration,
empathy or kindness, double the praise.
• Manage destructive reactions. Kids have a general sense
of right and wrong by the time they are 5 and 6 years old.
And many kids find it easy to be kind when they’re feeling
generous or happy. Kindness is challenged when kids feel
angry, envious, ashamed, helpless or threatened. That’s
when kids compromise kindness. The key is to equip kids
with strategies that help them manage these difficult
feelings—from teaching them to take a deep breath, repeat
a mantra, or enlist the help of a trusted adult instead of
taking matters into their own hands.
• Teach kids to say sorry. The fear behind saying, ‘I’m
sorry,’ is that it incriminates the person who said it. But
teach your child that saying sorry doesn’t mean admitting
full responsibility and guilt. Sometimes it just means, ‘I
never meant to hurt you.’ Learning to say sorry is one of
the most important skills in maintaining relationships.
No one’s perfect and it’s human to hurt someone despite
our best intentions. We just need to teach our kids how to
mend the hurt.
23