It turns out that my gut instinct was completely right, and
when I finally listened to it, I brought my boy into my arms
instead of sending him to the time-out chair. I realized that
he wasn’t being naughty or defiant, but that he was processing
big feelings about having a baby brother and missing some of
that time he used to have with his mommy – time the baby took
up now. He was feeling some level of disconnection and lots
of confusion, and those emotions were driving his behavior.
Behavior is communication. Listening to outside voices caused
me to miss something very important – my child’s distress. I’m
thankful that I finally listened to my gut, and we found our way
out of that messy cycle.
As parents, we are faced with countless choices. Do we heed
expert advice or trust our instincts? My concern is that, by
ignoring our gut instincts and heeding the advice of others
which comes at parents in a constant bombardment these days,
we miss important cues about our children’s experiences. This
can lead to detrimental consequences, including an erosion of
trust and a loss of attachment, and deprives our children of the
help they are desperately crying out for with their behavior.
Distinguishing your inner voice from the world’s loud voices
is not always clear or simple. It’s important to allow yourself
some space to hear what your gut is telling you. This could be
through meditation, freeing yourself from distractions, going
for a walk – anything that allows some time for your mind to
wander. When you are calm and undistracted, you can hear
your own voice more clearly.
Be open to what your intuition is telling you. Sometimes
following someone else’s advice might feel safer, but knowing
that you have a second brain at work might help it feel a little
safer to follow your gut!
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