Finally, showing respect means working with
rather than against your child, and this means
sometimes a compromise is in order. Strong leaders
know when to be flexible and when to hold their
ground. Sometimes, you need to give up a little
control in some areas so that you can hold more
control when it really counts because children will
respect you and follow your lead more if they feel
they are respected.
Let’s look at one example of showing respect
through challenging behavior. What if your three
year old suddenly refuses to bathe? Each time that
bath time rolls around, there are tears and tantrums.
Letting her go unwashed isn’t healthy, but forcing
her into the tub screaming isn’t respectful. Perhaps
she’s afraid she’ll go down the drain. Maybe she got
soap in her eyes and it stung so now she’s terrified.
Who knows what goes on in the minds of little
ones sometimes, but the key is to find a way to get
her clean (what you want) while respecting her
feelings (what she wants). I would suggest trying a
few options, like offering a shower instead, or being
wiped off while standing in, or even beside, the tub.
Eventually, this will pass, but in the meantime, she
will know that her feelings matter.
Will children always accept your limits because
you are respectful and empathetic? Not necessarily.
Being respectful in your interactions even when
they are not is a great way to model mature and
appropriate behavior. Remember, it may take
a while before their brain catches up to yours
in development, but in the meantime, they’re
watching your example and imitating it. •