Moreover, increased exposure to an overwhelmed
and anxious parent seemed to make matters worse.
Finally, the study showed that what did seem to make a
difference in a child’s future was a mother’s education
and parents’ socioeconomic level.
I don’t doubt these findings. But I’m also dubious that
it paints the full picture. I’ll never forget the day when
my child brought home a drawing from school. When
asked what she liked most about mom, she said she
liked that I was always next to her and drew a picture
of us in close proximity.
I wasn’t always next to her though. She attended
preschool since she was 2 years old. And when I had
work to do at home, I never did it with her in the same
room. But I did try to sit next to her while doing laundry
or filing papers. I tried to sit next to her as often as I
could even if I couldn’t give her my full attention.
When I asked my then second grader to tell me why
she liked that I was “always next to her”, she told me
she could share things with me faster when I was.
When it comes to spending time with our kids,
quality may trump quantity. Only thing is, increased
quantity time often leads to enhanced quality time.
Sure, you can schedule one-on-one time to sit across
your child at Baskin Robbins, making laser-focused
eye contact while your phone remains turned off for
the next 30 minutes. But your child may or may not
feel like divulging what’s truly on her mind exactly
between 6:30pm to 7:00pm.
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