Perhaps this is life ’ s little payback for the days we wished they would just hush for five minutes as preschoolers . Now we wish they ’ d talk for five minutes , but getting your teen to open up can be like bathing a cat - it ’ s hard ! However , it ’ s more important than ever to stay connected with them and to know what ’ s going on in their lives . Fortunately , a brand new study out of the University of Reading may shed some light on this topic .
In the study , researchers asked 1001 teenagers aged 13-16 to watch staged conversations between a parent and a teenager about a difficult situation . The parent adopted different body language and listening behaviors in different versions of the conversation . In the versions where the parent was visibly attentive to the teen , the participants said they would have felt better about themselves and would have been more likely to open up than they would in the scenarios where the parent was inattentive , distracted , and not using eye contact .
Dr Netta Weinstein , associate professor in clinical and social psychology at the University of Reading , who co-led the study , said :
“ We all know that listening to someone talk about their problems is an effective way of reassuring them and establishing a connection . However , until now there has been little thought given to the quality of that listening , and the difference that makes . This study shows that in parentteenager relationships , quietly listening to a teenager while showing them they are valued and appreciated for their honesty has a powerful effect on their willingness to open up .”
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