There are many ways to show love. But the various
forms of expressions are not created equal. Speaking
the right love language to your child can fill his bucket
a quarter full, a half full or make it overflow. Speaking
your child’s love language can change the dynamic of
not only your relationship with your child but the
chemistry of the entire family.
The five love languages as defined by Gary Chapman
in his book, “The Five Love Languages of Children,”
are acts of service; words of affirmation, gifts, quality
time or physical touch. Each of these expressions of
love represents a different “language.”
For my squirmy 6-year-old, quality time fills her
bucket most. That’s not to say she doesn’t appreciate
words of encouragement or won’t enjoy a cuddle
at night. But quality time is the love language that
communicates love best. After a couple of hours of
focused one-on-one time, I’ve noticed an increase in
her level patience, cooperation and happiness during
the week. She becomes less needy. Kids, after all, are
just like us. When their needs are met, they have more
to give. In this way, learning to speak your child’s love
language can be powerful in giving your child more
confidence.
When your child is young, it’s not completely easy to
distinguish his or her love language because they need
all five languages: your acts of service, personal touch,
words of affirmation, quality time and what child
doesn’t like gifts? But as your child becomes older, his
dominant love language will become clearer.
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