The Elf on the Shelf is also watching , and reports all misbehavior back to Santa . Children are routinely being shamed to the “ naughty list ” and expected to live up to vague notions of “ being good .” Christmas should be a time of joy , gratitude , giving , and cheer . Instead , we ’ ve made it a game of empty threats and creepy magical spies , and our children end up living in fear rather than enjoying the magic of the holiday season . That ’ s hardly fair . Consider the following points before you use the Santa threat this year .
1 . Would you rather your child behave out of respect for you or fear of an imaginary man ? The obvious problem with the Santa threat of course is that it is temporary . Come December 26th , what new tactic will you use ? This is always the problem with using threats to gain compliance – you always have to come up with new , bigger threats because the “ benefits ” don ’ t last . The only real authority comes through a positive , trusting relationship between parent and child . Threats , punishments , and shame only give you temporary control at best , and the emotional toll those take on children is a high price t pay for temporary control . The goal should be for children to listen because they have a genuine respect for you – and because they have learned self-discipline – not because they ’ re terrified they ’ ll end up on some made-up naughty list and disappoint an imaginary guy .
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