EDITOR ’ S PICK
1 . Some common discipline methods cause separation between parent and child , and they require that the child “ work ” to get back into our good graces . For example , “ Go to your room and don ’ t come out until you can behave ,” tells the child that we do not want to be with them unless they can “ be good .” Yet , from a developmental standpoint , children aren ’ t always capable of controlling their emotions , impulses , and behaviors , and when they are having a hard time doing so , this is the time when they need us by their side the most .
As Dr . Neufeld says , “ Children must never work for our love ; they must rest in it .” When we make them work to earn our approval and positive attention , they cannot rest in the security of unconditional love , and it puts a burden on them to try and keep mom and / or dad close . He says our message should be there is nothing that can separate you from my love .
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