2 . Providing “ more attention than the child asks for ” is another way to offer emotional rest . When they continually have to ask for our attention or compete with other things for our attention , they do not feel significant in our lives . However , by being the first to offer to play , the first to say “ I love you ,” and the last to let go during a hug , we can give our children the message you are worth my time . You are significant .
3 . Assuming our role as leader also gives children rest . Children do not want to be in the lead , even though it may seem like they do at times . Developmentally , they are not ready for it . Just as I wouldn ’ t want to be on a plane without a competent pilot , children want to feel secure in our ability to lead our families . When they see us get constantly ruffled by their actions , it appears we aren ’ t capable . To use the airplane reference again , I would feel very worried if my pilot had a big emotional reaction to turbulence . The pilot ’ s reaction would cause me to feel emotionally uneasy . It would probably cause me to have a big reaction because I ’ m looking to her / him to lead in this scenario . In the same way , our responses and reactions can cause our children to feel emotionally uneasy . So , while I ’ m not suggesting we be robotic or inhuman in our reactions , we do have the responsibility as parents to ensure that our kids feel confident in our ability to handle raising them , even ( and maybe especially ) when they test us .
By following this advice , we parents can give our children emotional rest at home which gives them the strength and ability to go out into the world and do the work of childhood . •
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