special feature
When we understand how the developing brain of a child works , we can quickly debunk this idea that toddlers are being deliberately manipulative . Willful manipulation requires cognitive skills of the prefrontal cortex , an area of the brain that is very underdeveloped in toddlers . Rather , true tantrums occur when the limbic system ( the emotional center of the brain ) becomes overloaded and alarms trigger the lower brain , sending them into a meltdown . When the lower brain is in charge , children have little control over their actions , and screaming , kicking , and crying are a discharge of the overwhelming feeling .
Rather than manipulation , tantrums are simply an expression of emotion that became too much for the child to bear . No punishment is required . What that child needs is compassion and safe , loving arms to unload in .
As your toddler ’ s brain develops , they will be able to grasp the skills necessary to regulate their emotions , and meltdowns will decrease and eventually subside . Rather than ignoring or punishing , it ’ s more helpful to co-regulate with your child ( helping them calm down in your loving presence by taking big breaths , coloring , sensory play , etc such as in a calm-down area ) as this is the foundation for her being able to self-regulate later .
49