Bridgett Miller concurs , saying , “ The notion of sending a young child into what they experience as physical and emotional solitary confinement , is not only disturbing , it ’ s illogical . Young children do not go off and think about the error of their ways , nor do they consider what they could do differently next time . Not because they intentionally refuse to , but because their immature brains are non-integrated and they are not yet capable of reflecting on their undesirable behaviour , least of all when they are flooded by feelings of alarm because they have been sent away .”
So , emotionally it ’ s damaging and developmentally it ’ s useless . Not only that , but using love as a reward sets humans up for all sorts of mental issues later on . Connection is not a reward ; it ’ s a lifeline . It isn ’ t something to dangle like a carrot in front of their noses , offering a sense of security , trust , and unwavering love only when they behave well and yanking it away when their behavior is off-track . Dr . MacNamara told me , “ When parental love is used as a tool to shape behaviour a child is made to work for approval by meeting parental demands , negating any chance for true rest .”
If spanking is out , and time-outs are out , what tools do parents have left ? What about the popular discipline technique that inspired 1-2-3 Magic ? And how can parents effectively discipline their children ?
Next , we will discuss how magical counting to three really is and what kind of discipline really works on the developing mind .
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