Failure to do high-quality CPR , to extricate a vehicle crash victim quickly , to find the source of a household CO leak or to rescue a downed firefighter during a mayday all have potential life-or-death outcomes .

We are taught from day one that failure is not an option . It doesn ’ t matter if you are career , volunteer or somewhere in the middle — there is no room for failure .

Of course , failures happen . RIT crews are unable to make a rescue when overwhelmed by debris and fire . Crash victims are stuck in wrecked cars while defective extrication tools are replaced and CO poisonings occur when firefighters are too lazy or too poorly trained to identify a leak .

The fire services collective response to on-scene and on-station failures is , of course , that failure is not tolerated . There are formal and informal disciplinary measures meted out . There is further training and there may be legal ramifications .

So what happens when you walk out of the fire

station to head home after a call or at the end of a shift ? What happens to our culturally ingrained views about failure ?

More often than not , we take that “ failure is not an option ” training and attitude home with us . Care to venture a guess about how that goes over when dealing with spouses , children , friends , parents , etc . when they fail ? Just as important is the way we treat ourselves when we fail in our non firefighting lives . And we will fail – despite media portrayals , we are human and fallible .

If our work-attitude toward failure is toxic to our personal relationships , and to our own sense of self-worth , there must be a way to reframe that view for better outcomes . And indeed , there is .

One of the renowned experts on failure — yes , there are experts on failure — Amy Edmondson has spent her career helping people and organizations to fail better . A Harvard professor , she recently published the book “ Right

Kind of Wrong : The Science of Failing Well .”

To oversimplify , Edmonson breaks failures into bad ones that need to be avoided , and good ones that need to be embraced . As with our fire service failures , the bad ones have the potential for serious consequences . The good ones , she writes , are necessary for improving things we are already doing and for groundbreaking discoveries .

For example , we don ’ t want our commercial airline pilot testing out a theoretical landing procedure on our flight . But we do want them failing at new and accepted landing procedures on flight simulators .

Edmonson ’ s research , and that of others , shows that failure is critical to advancement . It also shows that those who operate in an environment of what she calls high psychological safety will have better outcomes because they will be secure enough to talk about their failures early and better learn from those failures .

Those of us toting around our big old bag of “ never fail ” need to check it at the door , drop it on the porch or whatever visualization will keep you from bringing that mess into your home life . Your kids need a psychologically safe space to fail at sports , musical instruments , theater or whatever . That means encouraging them to take those risks and helping them process and learn from failures . The same applies to everyone in your personal life .

I know , I know , all that sounds like what you ’ d learn in good parenting / good spouse 101 . And it is . The real heavy lift , and often one that determines whether or not you can create a psychologically safe space for others , is giving ourselves permission to fail . There are some pretty weighty issues making that lift so heavy .

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