time, the meeting must be structured
to normalize the tension by using it
constructively. In any family gathering,
the primary goal is not to cause any
harm to the business or family.
The meeting design must be adapted
to the family dynamics, address
the needs of individuals, and use
the right tools from the facilitative
toolkit to create forward movement.
This almost always involves taking a
creative approach to addressing old
problems. By pushing the family away
from their traditional discussion habits,
they find new ways to talk about the
things that matter most to them. This
unconventional approach must be fun
and engaging, spark curiosity, diffuse
but harness tension, and appear fair
and open minded to all. As a result, the
process and outcome of each family
meeting will be unique.
Through facilitated conversation,
appreciative inquiry, ritual, storytelling,
dialogue, or a host of other techniques
that could be chosen for that particular
family gathering, the family can come
to a new understanding of their
common ground and the individual
needs of the family members. From
these new perspectives, agreements
can be forged. These agreements don’t
require everyone to like each other
or get along – only that, as adults,
they hold themselves and one another
accountable to the agreements
that will allow the family and the
business to go forward with greater
clarity, collaboration, coherence, and
commitment.
The surprising thing is once these
agreements are in place, families often
gain new confidence in themselves
and family bonds that were once
strained are more relaxed. This does
not happen overnight, but I repeatedly
hear from clients that relationships
once thought to be broken beyond
repair are mending.
Beyond that, the business starts to
thrive as a result of the clarity of the
family and the agreements they have
reached. These agreements become
powerful tools for creating alignment
and working through tensions created
by the hot button issues faced by
family businesses.
Matthew Wesley, founder of The
Wesley Group, was a respected
estate planning attorney with over
twenty years of experience before
establishing his firm.
The CAFE 2014
Family Business
Symposium
Building Strong
Families for Successful
Transitions
For 30 years, the Canadian
Association of Family Enterprise
(CAFE) has been helping
families in business succeed by
bringing them together to share
knowledge and experiences.
CAFE is where business families
connect with peers and find
resources to help them succeed.
Friends and families of CAFE
will join together May 21 – 23,
2014 at the ultimate gathering
of family enterprise in Canada.
Held at the Westin Bayshore
in Vancouver, CAFE’s 2014
Family Business Symposium
consists of two days of keynote
presentations and interactive
workshops delivered by
industry experts.
Visit www.cafecanada.
ca/symposium for more
information or to register.
WINTER 2014
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