A Renovation of Life
Aisha on behalf of Lead-In-Lady
This is the life story of Uzma* (not her real name)-shared by her request.
Uzma belonged to a seemingly close-knit family
who had suffered the loss of a mother. The
family experienced a significant amount of
financial difficulty and there were often days
where needs were sacrificed to cater for the
wider family. As the last-born child in the family
she was often an after-thought and got lost in the
whirlwind of financial difficulty and everyone
else’s lives: their schooling successes and
difficulties, their social engagements, marriages,
and eventually the birth of their children.
Uzma was an eye-catching young adult with her
flawless visage and enviable build. Initially;
particularly in her teenage years, she was
guarded in her interactions with males fearing
judgement from them. Uzma, funded by a
scholarship, turned her attention to excelling in
her studies resulting in her graduating with
distinction at all levels of her tertiary education.
To an objective onlooker she was a winner it
seemed: beauty, brains, and a warm and kind
nature. Inside, however, she was at war with
herself. As she grew older she became well-
aware of the effect her beauty had on men and
she used the opportunity to fill the loneliness in
herself. Uzma was tired of fearing judgement
and so in need of love and kindness.
Unfortunately, she had confused the feeling of
safety with the swift attention received from
men. Each man that she engaged with was
unwilling to offer her more than a physical
relationship as they were in some or other way
fearful of commitment or too busy in their own
lives to offer her marriage. She had fleeting
affairs with married men that she encountered
at work, older men who had lost interest in their
marriages, and divorcees who used her as a
mere distraction from their own turmoil. In
each circumstance she gave her heart and
received nothing in return. Uzma wondered
whether she was as undeserving of attention as
an adult as she was as a child.
She began to believe that her looks would secure
happiness despite the fact that no man had
committed to her. She was voted the most attractive
employee on more than one occasion at a reputable
corporate and had graced the pages of local business
publications over the years for having both beauty
and intellect. Compliment after compliment; day
after day; but it really was never enough. She was
consumed by herself and consumed by the desire to
impress as she was fearful of rejection. She turned to
alcohol, smoking, and eventually occasional drug
usage. The impact on her career and her health was
ignored by her until she reached her late 40s wherein
she had a difficult conversation with h