CONNECTIONS
abstained from the s word because I didn ’ t want to let him off the hook . While that mindset is understandable , it isn ’ t justification for refusing to say sorry . At the end of the day , whether or not he was sorry , I was . Remorse or guilt is independent — you either feel it or you don ’ t . I did , so I needed to say sorry .
“ To let go and forgive is a gift in which we are all capable . ”
The good news is “ sorry ” isn ’ t said without value . People say words carry weight ; well , it ’ s true . A study by five researchers published in Social Psychological and Personality Science found that “ forgiveness affects how victims perceive and interact with the physical environment in domains unrelated to the conflict itself .” In other words , unforgiveness and holding a grudge can physically and mentally burden a person , even after the conflict has ended . The researchers ’ first experiment focused on mental perception effects of forgiveness . Forty-six college students were separated into three groups ; one group wrote about a time they forgave , one group wrote about a time they did not forgive , and the third group wrote about a random social interaction .
After writing , each individual was asked to visit a nearby hill and guess how steep the incline was . The third group acted as a control group to ensure that any difference in perception or physicality could accurately be attributed to the “ unburdening effect of forgiveness .” The researchers hypothesized that those who wrote about unforgiveness would estimate higher inclines — basically , a negative state of mind would translate to a more pessimistic view of what ’ s ahead . There was no significant difference in incline perception between groups two and three , but the group that wrote about forgiveness