Source: Getty
Make it appear that you are after a shared goal
As long as both of you and your higher-up wants the same output – most likely the most efficient or the most productive results – then you two are not in a boxing match but in a chess game. You should look forward to make the discussion more of a collaboration of ideas rather than a clashing.
Validate the original point
Make sure that you understand what the other is saying because it might be that you two are not really after the same thing. Doing that lays a strong foundation for the discussion, and allows for clarity of your differences.
Ask permission to disagree
When you do this, you are not only respecting your boss, you are also given more confidence to voice out your opinion. Say something like,“ I’ d like to lay out my reasoning. Would that be OK?” That essentially gives your higher-up a“ psychological safety” and control.
Stay calm and humble
Assert your voice in a way that it does not violate the one in authority. This means that you should be wary of your body language upon saying your side. Keep your voice modulated and do not talk too fast. Guard your facial expressions, too. It’ s basic but sometimes when the mind races to get what it wants, our body doesn’ t respond it usually does.
When it comes to humility, accept that yours is still an opinion. Meaning it’ s not the only one correct or valid.
Acknowledge authority
After the exchange, he is still the boss and you are still his employee. You might want to say,“ I know you’ ll make the call here. This is up to you.” Saying that reminds your boss that he or she has choices, thus becoming more open to your side. The point here is at least you have shared your side rather than not telling it at all.
54 Construction Leaders • April 2017