HELPING YOUNG PEOPLE LEARN THEIR WORTH
When self-esteem is contingent, the cycle of perfectionism takes grip, in which achievements and acquisitions lose their ability to gratify. The shrillness of“ Am I enough?” becomes disruptive and threatens to rob life of well-being and delight. Chronic comparison with others also undermines connection and trust, leaving teens isolated at a deeper emotional level.
In a recent ad hoc survey on the word dignity, many participants reported associations with great historical figures, while others contended that it felt as stiff, ceremonial, and antiquated as a dignitary in a dark suit. Yet dignity cannot be reserved for formal occasions or consigned to the past. It is a living principle, more urgent now than ever— for both adolescent development and the cohesion of human community. With public discourse marked by rancor and division, the dilemma faces educators: How do we support individuals not just in understanding dignity as a concept, but in actually cultivating and recognizing it in themselves?
Few have addressed this task better than Carl Rogers( 1902 – 1987), a pioneering figure in humanistic psychology. Rogers advocated for inherent worth and dignity as features of humanity. Beginning in the 1940s, he challenged the prevailing medical model of psychotherapy, in which clients were treated as the passive recipients of expert analysis, diagnosis, and intervention. Instead, Rogers summoned an alternative that redefined the therapeutic dyad: counseling as a partnership, grounded in listening, respect, and the
“... to be well heard is not a luxury— but rather, a necessity for discovering one’ s worth and hearing the dignity in one’ s own voice.”
conviction that every human being possesses an innate capacity for growth.
Rogers taught that to be well heard is not a luxury— but rather, a necessity for discovering one’ s worth and hearing the dignity in one’ s own voice. This principle constitutes an anchor of the curriculum at the Stanley King Institute for Deep Listening as well. For over 60 years, the Institute’ s workshops have prepared independent school teachers to host conversations that help students navigate the critical years of identity formation. Deep listening skills can provide a road map for the experience of dignity, accessible to us all on a daily and renewable basis.
Paradoxically, the awareness of one’ s own dignity often requires enduring a crisis or struggle in all its turbulence and ache. The Rogerian approach to listening is grounded in unconditional positive regard, which means accepting an individual without judgement and in the process, making a place for exploration and self-discovery.
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CSEE Connections Winter 2025 Page 7