Connections Quarterly Winter 2019 - Restorative Practices - Page 9

S TA R TI N G W I TH A PAU S E • Check your understanding of what is ob- servably true versus what you are assum- ing. In other words, drop what you think you know and get curious. Scripts don’t work if we are seeing the student through a fog of our own biases and assumptions. • Notice your intention. What outcome are you seeking? i.e. Are you looking for solutions or just wanting to be right? 4 every day.” Or, “Getting into the swing of school can be hard,” or “You are usu- ally on time to class.” Even if you aren’t right, students respond positively to your attempts to empathize. I = Inquire – Ask restorative questions, and variations to them, in order to: A = Acknowledge – Validate their experi- ence as much as possible and acknowledge what factors and issues might be influenc- ing the situation. Begin interaction with: • Acknowledging them personally and what you notice, what is observable and true. “Hey John, I am noticing...” “Good morning kids, it seems...” “Good to see you Mary, I see that...” (Remem- ber, a student’s behavior can be unac- ceptable AND you can still communi- cate with care and respect.) • Acknowledge your own feelings, if ap- propriate, using affective statements. “I’m not feeling great about seeing you in the hall after class has started.” Or, “It feels hard to give instructions when there are several conversations going on.” • Acknowledge compassionately what you imagine or know to be true. “It’s gotta be hard to get to class on time • learn more about the root cause of the behavior, • check your understanding of what they’ve said, • intentionally dismantle your assump- tions and biases, • explore harm or impact. “ Check your understand- ing of what is observably true versus what you are assuming. In other words, drop what you think you know and get curious. ” 4. Barron, M.J. and Grimm, J.W. (2006). The Integrative and Compensatory Model of Change. South Burlington, VT: Center- point. Continues on page 32 CSEE Connections Winter 2019 Page 7