S TAR T ING WITH A PAUSE
Continued from page 5
•
• Mindful awareness is essential when
working with our own intense emo-
tions and implicit bias during challeng-
es with students.
• People are happier, more productive,
and more likely to admit to and repair
harm when we do things with them
versus to them or for them.
• Everyone has something important to
contribute to the solution. (We don’t
need to have all the answers ourselves.)
• Reminding students and all members
of the school community of their in-
nate goodness, with specific examples,
is the first step in developing intrinsic
motivation to repair harm.
•
“
In addition, students respond more
positively to adults in authority when
the adults humanize themselves
through authentic and skillful self-
disclosure. 3
We are all interconnected. What we do
or say matters.
Clearly it would be overwhelming to con-
sider all these tenants and reflect deeply ev-
ery time we communicate with a student.
But we can develop a practice of commu-
nication that slowly, over time, overrides
old habits and attitudes that derail problem
solving, growth, engagement, and learning.
We won’t ever be perfect. To say, “I’m very
sorry. I totally just called you out in front
People are happier,
more productive, and
more likely to admit
to and repair harm
when we do things
with them versus to
them or for them.
”
of everyone on something I knew nothing
about—let’s start over,” is gold. When you
do this, students become your ally. We want
to be authentic in our desire for productive
dialogue, because students will respond to
that desire, no matter how awkward.
A Framework for Practice—P.A.I.R
I developed the following approach over
the many years of practicing mindfulness,
training in trauma-informed teaching, and
working day-in and day-out with resistant
and challenging youth.
P = Pause – As you approach the behav-
ior, pause and become aware of your breath
and your feet on the ground. In this pause:
•
Bring awareness to your own experi-
ence and the surroundings. “Am I too
escalated to be effective?” “Am I in dan-
ger?” Take a few breaths.
3. “Center for Adolescent Studies.” https://centerforadolescentstudies.com/. Accessed 24 Oct. 2018.
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CSEE Connections