S TAR T ING WITH A PAUSE
Continued from page 33
engagement by using Up for Learning’s
resources (www.upforlearning.org).
•
Safety: Am I doing what I need to do
to stay grounded and regulated? Is my
body language threatening? Do I at-
tend to what constitutes a trauma-sen-
sitive classroom/school? Strengthen
your skills with the book, Fostering Re-
silient Learners: Strategies for Creating a
Trauma-Sensitive Classroom (www.ascd.
org/publications/books/overview/fos-
tering-resilient-learners.aspx) by Kris-
ten Souers and Pete Hall.
While developing RC skills may be daunt-
ing, it is worth your efforts many times
over. With this approach you are able to say
goodbye to power struggles and the grow-
ing stress of cajoling kids to engage or be-
ing at “war” with kids over behaviors. You
become allies. It will require time, humility,
and self-awareness.
So how did I respond to John? As you read,
listen for P.A.I.R and the principles in action.
I pause and inhale deeply. On the exhale I feel
my feet on the ground and consciously let go
of the negative assumptions I am forming
about John. I say, without sarcasm, “Wow.
You must have had a rough time in English if
those are the first words out of your mouth on
the first day! On behalf of all English teachers,
I am sorry for whatever has made you so un-
happy with English.” John, I will learn later, is
not quick to soften or smile or even respond.
Page 34 Winter 2019
“
With this approach you
are able to say good-
bye to power struggles
and the growing stress
of cajoling kids to en-
gage or being at “war”
with kids over behav-
iors. You become allies.
”
So I continue, “In all seriousness. I’m commit-
ted to making this English class not ‘suck’ for
you. But I am going to need two things from
you: I need your willingness to work together
on this challenge, AND I will need you to
change the way you enter class. Your opinion
matters to me, but having a student say ‘Eng-
lish f’ing sucks’ as they enter class really takes
the wind out of my sails and makes it hard to
do my best. Do you think you can do those two
things and would you be willing to meet later
so I can hear more about why English isn’t your
favorite subject and what we can do about
that?” John nodded his head with a grunt.
John would continue to groan about Eng-
lish, but he did follow through on his side
of the bargain. Together we found ways
to make English class less painful and he
never did enter class like that again. Instead
he slowly became my advocate when stu-
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