S TAR T ING WITH A PAUSE
Continued from page 7
From the International Institute for Restorative Practices 5
(with my less formal versions in italics).
• What happened? “What’s happening for you today?” “I’d like to hear your take on
what happened.”
• What were you thinking of at the time? “Is there something you were hoping
would happen?” “I’d love to know what’s going on for you and what you were think-
ing when this happened.”
• What are you thinking about since or now? “Seems like you have a lot on your
mind. What have you been thinking about related to this incident?”
• Who has been affected by what you have done? “Have you noticed some ways
your behavior has affected my teaching? Other kids learning? In what ways have
they been affected?”
5. “Time to Think: Using Restorative Questions | News from IIRP.” 9 Jan. 2012, https://www.iirp.edu/news-
from-iirp/time-to-think-using-restorative-questions. Accessed 2 Dec. 2018.
Remember—if students are escalated, they
won’t have access to their “thinking brain.”
Begin attending to your student’s and
your own regulation by regulating your-
self through controlled breathing, asking
the student to take a short walk or drink
of water, and prompting them to use the
self-regulation tool you learned in class to-
gether. Whatever the situation is, try to be
specific. Instead of “What’s happening?” or
“What do you need?” ask, “Is there anything
going on today for you that’s making it hard
to get to class?” or “Let’s take some relaxing
breaths together.”
Page 32 Winter 2019
R = Restore/Repair – Collaborate with
students to come up with ways to restore
themselves to the class, in relationship with
you, or simply to self-regulate. Focus on
maintaining their dignity and maintaining
warm regard.
•
What do you think you need to do to
make things right? “So what are some
things we can do to move forward so I
can do my job and your classmates can
learn?” “How can I help you to focus more
in class?”
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