Connections Quarterly Winter 2018 - World Religions

Parent Tips: World Religions by Julie Stevens R aised in a family where religious beliefs spanned the gamut from irreverently agnostic to deeply devout, at age six my confusion about the radically different practices of my Roman Catholic and my Christian Science grandparents prompted me to “found” my own religion. (No one converted…) As an educator in both religious and secular schools I struggled to help these communities cope with traumatic deaths, observing how belief about an afterlife or affili- ation with a spiritual community eased or complicated that coping. Currently I despair that my grandchildren are growing up in a global family waging war—actual or philosophical—sparked by fanaticism, inflamed by social media. Whether we are believers or what Pew researchers call “nones,” our children deserve our guidance in matters of the spirit. • To prepare for the inevitable questions about diverse religious practices (“Why is that woman all covered up? Why is that man wearing an orange robe? Why do we/don’t we say prayers?”) start by unpacking your own religious “baggage.” Consider how life events have formed your attitudes towards religion. Give yourself permission to admit to your kids that you don’t have all the answers, and assure them that you’re always willing to engage in discussion. • It’s easy to find sound parenting advice regarding developmentally appropri- ate support of physical, social, or cognitive growth, but determining best prac- tice for spiritual development is both essential and tricky. In Relax, It’s Just God: How and Why to Talk to Your Kids About Religion When You’re Not Religious (Brown Paper Press, 2015) Wendy Thomas Russell suggests testing your child’s readiness to discuss religion by playing “Fact, Fiction or Belief,” giving examples for a child to label, such as ‘The moon is in the sky.’(fact) ‘You like to eat rocks.’ (fiction) ‘Pink is the best of all the colors.’ (belief ) • Help kids distinguish religious teachings grounded in universal moral concerns for fairness and human welfare from religious conventions intended to organize social interactions within a specific religious community. Across religions, followers are com- manded to treat neighbors as they would hope to be treated. But with regard to diet, dress, or customs relating to marriage or death the rules vary widely. Author of The Spiritual Child (Macmillan, 2015) Dr. Lisa Miller uses the term “spiritual multilingualism” to describe under- standing of these variations. She urges parents to point out different practices, as waiting might lead a child to conclude that some ways of being spiritual are more valid than others. • Ritual intended to deepen connection to the sacred is a universal characteristic of world religions. Explore ways to incorporate into family life spiritual, contemplative prac- tices—what Brian Blackmore aptly refers to in his piece in this edition of Connections as “technologies”—such as meditative breathing, mindful walking, yoga, songs rooted in religious observance, daily blessings, and expressions of gratitude. Page 32 Winter 2018 CSEE Connections

Connections Quarterly Winter 2018 - World Religions | Page 34