THE ARCHITECTURE OF BELONGING
Continued from page 15
different. For some students with autism, for example, making eye contact increases their cognitive load to such an extent that it actually inhibits their ability to listen. So why do we require or expect it?
6. Name Emotions
Belonging is also a function of being understood emotionally. In Permission to Feel, Marc Brackett notes that while children’ s vocabularies vary widely, emotional vocabularies are limited for nearly everyone. When asked how we feel, most of us default to two words:“ fine” or“ busy.”
The more precisely our students can name emotions, the better they’ ll be at managing them. For example, stress is not the same as anxiety. Stress occurs when we have too much to do and too little time. Anxiety occurs when we feel uncertain about the future. These two very different feelings require different solutions. Labeling also helps us modulate our reactions. For example, frustration is less potent than anger and our reactions to these distinct emotions should reflect that. Teaching emotional language gives students the tools for self-regulation.
Teachers can provide modeling to students. For example, a teacher might say,“ I’ m feeling frustrated by the noise level in the classroom, and I’ m worried it is inhibiting your ability to do the reading. To ensure you get the reading done, I’ m going to ask for silence.” Naming feelings clarifies expectations and reduces escalation.
“ Too often, we focus on deficits rather than seeing the glass as half or more full. A strengths-based lens changes everything.”
7. Harness Strengths to Unlock Potential
Too often, we focus on deficits rather than seeing the glass as half or more full. A strengthsbased lens changes everything. Instead of viewing a student with autism as“ stuck” on a single interest, we can validate that student’ s expertise. Rather than seeing a student as blunt, we could appreciate that the student values speaking truthfully and plainly.
Harnessing strengths is also a matter of brain chemistry. Kircher-Morris and Morin explain that neurodivergent individuals may have atypical dopamine functioning— lower levels or less responsive receptors. What can look like a lack of willpower is often neurological.
Allowing students to pursue their passions helps trigger the dopamine needed for task initiation and engagement. Channeling students’ strengths is not mere indulgence; it’ s strategy. It also counters the negative feedback many students receive.
Page 16 Summer 2026 CSEE Connections