PARENT TIPS CONTINUED
• Parents should speak out against the tendency to see inclusion of “ others ” as a zero-sum proposition . In The Sum of Us , Heather McGhee invites readers to consider the many public pools throughout the South filled in after desegregation in the 1950 ’ s . The message from White elites ? That no one enjoying the pool was preferable to accommodating those of another race . A chilling example of zero sum thinking , ironically this pattern emerged just as amenities once reserved for the wealthy were newly available to the middle class . Whites a well as Blacks were punished by the irrational destruction of community assets that could have benefited everyone . While the traditional American narrative extolls individual accomplishment , leveraging the power of belonging leads to shared success and well-being . All students attending independent schools enjoy the privilege of small classes , caring educators , and well-resourced learning communities . However , for students from marginalized groups , being welcomed is only the first step . Individual opportunity is key , as is believing that school is a place where they can succeed and where their unique skills are valued . Parents should highlight the net gains for all of a more equitable school culture .
• Acknowledge that well-intentioned people will sometimes make mistakes and that shaming those who do is inconsistent with supporting intellectual and emotional growth . Grappling with complex , highly charged topics will inevitably lead to missteps . Punishing risk-takers — students , teachers , or administrators — limits learning . Celebrate those with the courage to contribute to difficult conversations and accept realities outside their lived experience . As Mark Mitchell , vice president of NAIS suggests , solving racism is a “ heavy lift ,” but teaching about racism , how to identify and oppose it , is how we create a more just society and live by what he calls the Mother Theresa Standard , remembering that “ if we have no peace , it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other .” •
Julie Stevens is a parent , former school psychologist , and former independent school teacher . She has written numerous articles on parenting and moral growth that can be found on csee . org .
CSEE Connections Summer 2022 Page 33