KIDS AREN’ T THE ONLY ONES
Bottom line: If we don’ t focus more on helping stress-afflicted parents, they’ re not going to be as effective at helping their kids thrive.
Anxious and Lonely Parents
To help me unpack Murthy’ s report and place it in context, I spoke with Dr. Michael Thompson, a world-renowned psychologist with several books on parenting and children to his credit. He has a special understanding of independent schools; he works at Belmont Hill School in Boston as their consulting psychologist.
Thompson noted that“ pound per pound, parents are more anxious than kids.” Love from a parent to a child flows freely, he explained, and anxiety works the same way. He told me that in many cases“ parents’ reactions to their own helplessness during the pandemic made children become anxious.”
Even with the pandemic largely in the rearview mirror, many parents are still stressed. The report confirms what parents know: the current generation of parents is facing stressors that previous generations never knew. In addition to navigating traditional concerns such as ensuring children’ s safety, managing finances, and dealing with teenagers as they assert their independence, parents now must also grapple with social media, kids’ mental health, and“ an epidemic of loneliness that disproportionately affects young people and parents.”
The report confirms what parents know: the current generation of parents is facing stressors that previous generations never knew.
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Why are parents so lonely?
Noting that“ we’ ve separated ourselves and no longer live in tight communities,” Thompson referenced Robert Putnam’ s Bowling Alone as the seminal book recording the steep drop in social capital and communal activities in the United States.“ Rather than join social organizations, people sit home and watch TV alone,” Dr. Thompson said.“ Smartphones exacerbate our isolation today, as people interact more with their devices than with other people.”
To support families, the surgeon general asks that we start“ talking more openly about the challenges parents face and building more community for parents whose disproportionately high levels of loneliness compound the day-to-day challenges they face.”
Thompson believes that schools can help combat this crisis of loneliness by hosting regular parent coffees and educational
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CSEE Connections Fall 2025 Page 3