THE NEW NORMAL a bell of mindfulness . Take a focused breath to give yourself space to become aware of your own reactivity and emotional state . From this place of more skillful response , ask yourself : Where ’ s the triangle here ? Do I wish to be triangled in ? Who ’ s holding the anxiety ? Do I wish to take on some of that anxiety ? How can I be a non-anxious presence in this interaction ? How can I remain connected to this person while not taking on their anxiety ? What is the underlying question or worry behind this anxiety ?
Bowen and Buddha do not provide us magic answers by any means , but by holding one wing of the emotional mobile we cause a shift in the dynamic , tamping down the breeze and giving everyone around us the space to access their better selves . These better selves are eager to connect again , and to create a calmer new normal .
With the right understanding and skillful responses to this world of constant trans-
“ ... by holding one
wing of the emotional mobile we cause a shift in the dynamic , tamping down the breeze and giving everyone around us the space to access their better selves .
”
formational change , we can bring grace and calm to our relationships and thereby help heal our classrooms , our communities , and the world . •
From the forthcoming book Bowen and Buddha : Systems Thinking for Resilient Leadership .
Recommended Books and Resources
Family Therapy in Clinical Practice by Murray Bowen
Radical Compassion by Tara Brach
Transitions : Making Sense of Life ’ s Changes by William Bridges
The Mindful School Leader by Valerie Brown & Kirsten Olsen
When Things Fall Apart ( and many more ) by Pema Chödrön
Mindfulness in Uncertain Times by Krista Tippett
A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman Generation to Generation by Edwin Friedman Friedman ’ s Fables by Edwin Friedman
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CSEE Connections Fall 2021 Page 25