WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP: ELDER CARE
he A ARP has a family
caregivers discussion
Facebook group with
just 2,100 members,
though a highly active
feed. Most of the posts
are written by women, though men
find advice and solace there also. It’s
a safe place to talk about things they
refrain from talking about in public,
because most “informal” caregivers
(those not professionally employed
in the field and often going without
pay) don’t have decades of experi-
ence on which they can rely.
The Facebook posts range from
the mundane (how to convince loved
ones to bathe more frequently or deal
with an ill-fitting colostomy bag, or
suggesting tools like electric tooth-
brushes, tiny GPS trackers that can be
slipped into a shoe and home cameras
for monitoring senior parents from
hundreds of miles away) to the serious
(end of life details, or who to call when
a loved one dies and questions of what
will happen next). Frequently, the
posts edge toward despair: “I don’t
have two brain cells to rub together,”
“this is the hardest thing I’ve ever
done in my life,” “I am frightened,”
“I am entirely alone.”
Despite the feeling of isolation
that comes with being an elderly loved
one’s caregiver, the statistics show
these people are far from alone, and
the majority are women. The aging
population is growing: Adults over 65
make up 20 percent of the U.S. popu-
lation, compared to just over 15 per-
cent five years ago, according to U.S.
Census Bureau data, and that number
is projected to reach almost a quarter
of the population by 2060.
Annie originally moved her par-
ents from the North Bay to the Sacra-
mento region to help care for her two
young children, who were born with
physical impairments and neurologi-
cal and cognitive issues that resulted
in developmental delays. She had
given up her role as a vice president in
a high-powered corporate marketing
job to care for them, and her parents
were able to help.
That was more than a decade ago.
Annie, whose name has been changed
to protect her identity and that of her
children, has since built a successful
business that allows her to work from
home and keep her schedule more
f lexible. Her children have outgrown
or overcome many of their develop-
mental delays, but they still require
a degree of hands-on care to manage
things like extracurriculars and indi-
vidualized education plans. However,
in that time, Annie’s parents, now in
their 80s, have slowed down. Rather
than offering extra sets of hands, they
now present an extra set of demands.
Annie, in her 50s and an only
child, sees herself as part of the
“sandwich” generation. As she pre-
pares for her children to leave home,
individually strong
collectively powerful
DIVERSE | IMPACTFUL | ESSENTIAL
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comstocksmag.com | March 2020