teracted with women in his office. Incon-
venient, perhaps, but such self-reflection
and raised consciousness were overdue
and a much-needed course correction. I
wouldn’t mind if a few more leaders be-
came more conscious during their inter-
actions with their female colleagues.
Does that mean, as my friend assert-
ed, that the #MeToo movement ended
the days of overt sexism in the work-
place? No. I can think of at least three
instances in which I witnessed or expe-
rienced sexism in the last year, includ-
ing one time when a client of mine told
me to “smile for me, honey.” So I asked
about a dozen of my female friends and
associates in Sacramento if they had
recently experienced overt sexism, and
unfortunately, received a plethora of ex-
amples. Here are just a few...
A LADY AND A HOUSEWIFE
One woman who is the executive direc-
tor of a local association recalled a se-
nior management team meeting she was
in with her boss and two colleagues (all
men). The purpose of the meeting was to
discuss professional development plans,
and her boss said to the group, “Think
about what you want to accomplish this
year. Steve is pursuing his certificate in
association management, and Susan …
well, she’s getting married, so she might
decide to take a cooking class.”
THE BEAUTIFUL MAN TO MY RIGHT
During a recent board meeting for a
high-profile nonprofit in downtown
Sacramento, a female board member
spoke up about a topic she felt passion-
ately about. The man sitting next to her
waited for her to finish her thoughts
before saying, “This beautiful woman
to my right makes an excellent point”…
and then repeated her thought in his
own words.
LOOKING THE PART
Another friend of mine works for a local
startup as head of logistics and opera-
tions. She is also actively involved in her
EVEN IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN SEXISM IN YOUR WORKPLACE,
THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT ISN’T HAPPENING — AND THAT
WOMEN AREN’T FEELING ITS IMPACTS.
community, spending up to 20 hours a
week volunteering for a local sports or-
ganization. After spending a weekend
hauling sports equipment from loca-
tion to location, she walked into work
on Monday morning and was asked by
her (male) boss, “So, do you ever paint
your nails?”
PRETTY BUT NOT PERFECT
After performing outstanding work in
her role as the leader of a local nonprofit,
another friend of mine walked confi-
dently into her performance evaluation
at the end of the year. Her male boss
praised her work and acknowledged she
had done exceptionally well in the pre-
vious fiscal year. She was then surprised
to see she had been awarded 99.9 per-
cent of the total year-end bonus avail-
able. Her boss explained the decision by
saying, “I docked your bonus 0.1 percent
because I don’t want you to think you’re
perfect. But don’t worry, I’ll buy you
something nice.”
And to be clear, this list omits the
one story that involves language too
crass to print. Sexism still happens
— both overtly and subtly. So, here’s
what we (and male colleagues in par-
ticular) can do to help combat it in the
workplace:
• Trust your gut: If you have a feeling
that a comment was inappropriate or
sexist, it probably was.
• Speak up: Hear something inappro-
priate in a board meeting? Respect-
fully call it out and set the tone for
what’s appropriate in the office.
• Pull people aside: Follow up with a
sidebar conversation, addressing it in
a timely manner.
• Don’t let it become a pattern: One
comment may be an accident but
two or three may be a pattern. Get
HR involved if you’re dealing with a
repeat offender.
• Be proactive: Facilitate conversations
proactively in the workplace about
how to create a better organizational
culture.
• Lead by example: A boss who makes
sexist comments allows for a culture
of sexism to spread. Be better.
Even if you haven’t seen sexism in
your workplace, that doesn’t mean it
isn’t happening — and that women
aren’t feeling its impacts. This is why
we must continue to discuss harass-
ment openly. We must also continue the
conversation about bias and sexism, not
only focusing on the extreme cases of
sexual assault hyped in the media, but
also the subtle (and not so subtle) ways
women are marginalized every day in
the workplace. n
Jessica Kriegel, Ph.D., is an organiza-
tional development consultant and an
expert on generational issues. For more,
visit www.jessicakriegel.com.
Have you experienced sexism in
the workplace?
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