STATISTICS
SOME LESS SERIOUS STATS
If Irvette and LJ van Zyl happen to have any more kids, they should strongly consider naming him Bonginkosi for optimal Comrades success!
Nothing makes a statistically-minded runner like me more excited than getting my hands on a database to play with, so I had hours of fun going through and 2025 Comrades Marathon finishers database to find these somewhat‘ different’ stats. – BY STUART MANN
Written in the Stars
Ever wondered how your Zodiac star sign impacts your performance at the Comrades Marathon?( Full disclosure: As a Taurus, I am naturally far too pragmatic, sensible and stubborn to believe in nonsense like astrology, but thought I’ d humour the gullible Pisces and Cancerians out there. And I have deliberately used a scale that that makes minor differences look statistically significant.)
Turns out, Libras are the fastest to qualify and the fastest on the day, Sagittarian entrants are the most likely to arrive at the start, and Pisces have the best chance of finishing.
To ensure that I add more mathematical rigour and scientific credence to this study, I assigned 5 different ratings to each star sign: Number of entrants, entrants to starters, finish success rate, average qualification time and the difference between predicted finish time( using qualifier x 2.5) and actual average finish time. The rankings are then averaged to provide a definitive and incontrovertible score for each sign.
This provides indisputable proof that Cancerians are the best Comrades runners, with honourable mentions going to Geminis, Tauruses and Virgos. On the other hand, Scorpios have by far the worst overall rating and, together with Leos and Aquarians, should seriously consider sticking to parkruns, or taking up an easier sport like cycling. I’ d also recommend that heterosexual couples wanting to produce good future Comrades stock, practice abstinence from late January until the end of February.
To add even more diligence and rigidity to this study, I went to the oracle( ChatGPT) and asked,“ Which star signs would be the best and worst at running the Comrades Marathon?” This is what I received in return, about 18 seconds later …
“ Alright, let’ s blend a bit of running science with astrology’ s playful stereotypes to imagine which signs might shine( or suffer) in the Comrades Marathon, an 87 km ultramarathon famous for heat, hills, and mental toughness.”
Best suited signs
These ones have the right mix of endurance mindset, discipline, and mental grit( at least in astrological lore):
• Capricorn – Relentless, disciplined, and goaloriented. The sign most likely to stick to a sixmonth training plan without missing a session.
• Virgo – Detail-oriented and methodical. They’ ll have nutrition, pacing, and even toenail maintenance down to a science.
• Scorpio – Intense and mentally unbreakable. They’ d push through blisters, cramps, and existential dread without blinking.
• Taurus – Stubborn as a rock. Once they start, they’ ll finish, even if it takes all day.
• Sagittarius – Loves adventure and challenges; thrives on the“ just keep going” mindset needed for an ultra.
Most likely to struggle
These signs might be less naturally suited to long, gruelling endurance unless they’ ve trained very seriously:
• Gemini – Gets bored easily. Might start fast, then halfway through decide they’ d rather be anywhere else.
• Leo – Loves glory, but not always the grind. Might fade when the crowd thins and there’ s no applause for 20km stretches.
• Libra – Might spend too long worrying if they chose the right shoes, socks, or starting pace.
• Pisces – Prone to daydreaming; could forget they’ re in a race until someone yells“ cut-off time!”
• Cancer – Emotionally driven. If the day feels“ off,” motivation might sink fast.
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