If no one else was watching and potentially judging or
criticising you, who would you be? What different choices
would you make? What is the truth that is in your heart?
who I really was and what I might want to do
with my life. That phone call set me on a whole
new path.
Today, I am a wellness and lifestyle expert who
speaks internationally and coaches people around
the world. I also work with international media
and blog for Psychology Today. In the midst of it all,
I became a professional flamenco dancer. There’s
a lot more to my story [you can read about it in
my book, Live a Life You Love: 7 Steps to a Healthier,
Happier More Passionate You] but the bo om line is
that once I realised who I really was and started
making choices from that place, my life bloomed
and transformed completely. Your life can, too.
Luckily I don’t always believe what people tell
me, otherwise during my season of depression,
I might have accepted the “reality” that I was a
biologically depressed person who would have to
2
stay on anti-depressants for most of her life. Today,
I can’t remember when I popped my last “happy
pill”. From the moment that I reconnected with
who I really was, and gave myself permission to
be my true self, I began making choices that were
right for me, instead of listening to what other
people thought would be best. And that was when
everything began to turn around, and the darkness
turned to light. Where once people used to feel
sorry for me, today they tell me that they envy my
fulfilment and freedom.
If no one else was watching and potentially
judging or criticising you, who would you be?
What different choices would you make? What
is the truth that is in your heart? These questions
aren’t frivolous. They are vitally important in
shining the light on the true beauty that is the one,
the only, you.
Prioritise and nourish fulfiling relationships
I FREQUENTLY TALK about relationships as being
one of the most important contributors to your
health and happiness. And it’s not just your closest
relationships—the number of social contacts you
have in your daily life [including the bank teller
and your neighbour down the street] are directly
associated with your wellbeing.
I’m an introvert and could happily spend long
stretches of time working and hanging out at home,
without interacting with anyone other than my
husband and our dog. Though I love people and
deeply appreciate my friends, I don’t have a strong
drive to regularly reach out to others. I’m terrible
when it comes to calling people, and can easily let
long intervals of time pass by without connecting.
This hasn’t got anything to do with whether or not
I like them, I’m just not very socially oriented. That
said, I’m increasingly aware that given the health
and happiness benefits of time with other people,
COMPLETE WELLBEING
it’s in my best interest to override my anti-social
tendencies and spend more time with others.
Last week at church, the sermon highlighted
three elements that are required to create a be er
relationship with the divine. While listening to it,
I realised it was sensible advice about creating a
be er relationship not only with the divine, but
with anyone who is important to you. Here are the
three points, with my take on them:
1. Notice and act on your desire to
connect with others
Whenever you thi