naturally focus on your goal rather than on ensuring the other side is losing. one tool I learned from great authors and negotiators is getting the parties in a negotiation to say,“ that’ s right.” It’ s better than“ you’ re right” or“ she’ s right.” If the parties get to say“ that’ s right,” it is a common denominator that the parties unconsciously share, enabling everyone to feel like a mutual resolution was reached.
To help you get there, try the framework inspired by negotiation experts often referred to as the Behavioral Change Stairway Model. It’ s a five-step path: First, engage in active listening. You can use tools such as minimal encouragers such as“ I see,” or“ makes sense” to make the other see that you’ re actually listening.
Second, show empathy. If you don’ t ensure the other side that you at least understand where they’ re coming from by empathizing( whether you agree with them or not) it will be hard for them to let their guards down and continue a dialogue with you.
Third: building rapport and establishing trust through continued conversation with a resolution-oriented mindset.
The fourth step is influencing them and building a solution with your recommended course of action. When these steps are done correctly, you will get to the final step which is behavioral change. This is when the other side actually does what you are seeking to accomplish in the outcome of the negotiation.
The next time you’ re faced with a negotiation, remember that it’ s not just about winning the argument— it’ s about winning the relationship and the outcome. In other words, pick your battles, play your cards right, and you’ ll win.
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