Community Education - current class catalogs Families - Winter 2018-19 | Page 8

Holidays
Holidays with your
Intense Child
Holidays with your intense child can cause a great deal
of discomfort. You’re concerned about keeping things
socially acceptable; you would rather not see “that look”
on your sister-in-law’s face, and staying home in front of the
TV never felt so appealing. But you go, feeling the pull of
family responsibility, not wanting to disappoint people – still
knowing you will, because it’s almost impossible to take your
child anywhere without a scene.
Five tips for surviving, and even enjoying, the holidays
with your intense child. Yes, it’s possible; and no, you
don’t need therapy or medication to get there.
1. Talk in advance with your child about how it will be at the
relative’s house this holiday.
2. Consider that sensory issues are at the core of the misbehavior
you see in your child. Too many smells mingling, sparkly things
and bright snow, tags on new clothes, sounds of people all
talking at once, proximity of other bodies, and the taste of
unfamiliar foods can throw a child into a state of complete
undoing.
3. Make a plan to decrease the sensory input for your child.
Ask him/her what would feel good: would you like to go
somewhere in the house if it gets to be too much? How about
spending time under mom’s big jacket? What breathing
exercises would you like to do to calm yourself?
4. Decrease expectations for your child’s participation and ask
others to do the same. Remember that intense behavior such
as tantrums come from being overwhelmed.
These statements help your child stay on a “string of successes.”
Your child will respond with more successes, as you are causing a
response in their body that says, “I am good at this.” The better
they feel about how they are doing, the more they’ll do it!
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Tinetti shared these additional tips:
• If possible, talk with the family that you
are visiting beforehand about some of
your feelings as well as the possibility of
setting up a place in the home where the
child can take a break.
• Think about your child’s basic needs
before you go so you are setting them
up for success. Are they well-rested? Have
they had enough stimulation, or could
they be over-stimulated?
• Give your child permission to take a break,
and if necessary, bring along a comfort
item or timer to help aid in the break.
5. Go to him/her frequently throughout the visit to give her
positive statements about how well she’s doing. “When you
take care of yourself while we’re at Aunt Sarah’s, I feel so
proud of you.”
Source: Feigal, Tina. Holidays with Your Intense Child.
“These are great tips; both for the families
who have that intense child, and for the
families who may be welcoming the intense
child,” says Emily Tinetti, Parent Educator
with Anoka-Hennepin Schools Early
Childhood Family Education.
Finally, Tinetti added, “This may be a great
opportunity for a successful visit, which you
can celebrate with your child, strengthening
your bond along with your child’s ability to
cope!”
Stay connected and receive timely and
topical parent resource information.
ahschools.us/ecfetips
Anoka-Hennepin Community Education I 763-506-1275