COMMUNICATION: How To Flirt, Start Conversations And Keep Them Going? What To Say After The First "Hello" | Page 6
BALANCING THE CONVERSATION
When your intention is to build a real,
interactive, conversation, to which both parties
contribute, you should not be afraid to do more
than your part at the start. Yet, it’s equally
important to avoid personal interrogation. What
you have to do is to ask the right questions,
knowing things will then almost always flow
nicely.
When you meet new people, always try to keep
the questions simple, fun and light hearted. The
intention is to have a good conversation and get to know the person beyond what they do for a living.
The best way to make somebody tell about his/her life, is to ask questions which will
encourage them to talk about themselves in “an unusual, quirky way”.
The best way to approach a conversation is to forget
about flirting and seducing, but to see it as an
opportunity to learn. If you find out that your
conversation-partner is interested in playing
cardgames, and you are not, then why not say 'Interesting - tell me, what makes playing card games
so interesting or exciting for you, as I don't get it'.
The purpose is not to argue the benefits of playing
card games, but to have a passionate discussion
about a subject that is of special interest to them.
People are usually very quick when it comes to form
an impression about somebody they meet. For
instance: about a third of the speed dates are actually
over within the first 30 seconds. In fact, 45 % of
women and 22 % of men come to a decision within
30 seconds.
If you get a good conversation going, you might check for an opportunity to continue the
conversation elsewhere or at another time:
I’d love to talk a bit more with you about this subject, but my train is due any minute
now. Can we meet again to continue this conversation?
This is real fun, but I wonder if you are free to continue this conversation. Do you
have to go somewhere right now?
Would you like telling me a bit more about … over a warm cup of coffee?