COMMUNICATION: How To Flirt, Start Conversations And Keep Them Going? The Art Of Succesful Flirting and Dating | Page 6

2. Don't flirt with people who are unlikely to return your interest.
Even if you are not looking for a long-term
mate, you will enjoy flirting more with
someone who is interested in you. So it makes
sense to approach people who are likely to see
you as at least a possible partner, rather than
those likely to dismiss you as unsuitable.
Evolution has favoured males who select
young, attractive mates and females who select
partners with power, wealth and status. Men
therefore naturally tend to seek women who
are younger than them and place greater
emphasis on physical beauty, while women are
more likely to favour older males with higher
status and earning potential. Women also tend
to prefer men who are taller than them.
Analysis of thousands of personal ads – where
people are more explicit about their
requirements, and more obviously conscious of
the requirements of others – shows that these
are the qualities most frequently demanded and
offered by mate-seekers.
Short, low-status males and older, less
attractive females may therefore be a bit more
restricted in their choice of potential partners,
although there are many exceptions to this rule,
and confidence and charm can outweigh
apparent disadvantages.
In the How to Flirt section, you will find tips on how to tell immediately, even from across a crowded room, whether
someone is likely to return your interest or not.

How to flirt
The first key to successful flirting is not an ability to show off and impress, but the knack of conveying that you like
someone. If your 'target' knows that you find him or her interesting and attractive, he or she will be more inclined to like
you.
Although this simple fact has been demonstrated in countless studies and experiments, you don't really need scientists to
prove it. You already know that when you are told someone fancies you, or hear that someone has praised or admired
you, your interest in that person automatically increases – even if it is someone you have never met!
Conveying that you like someone, and judging whether or not the attraction is mutual, clearly involves a combination of
verbal and non-verbal communication skills.
When asked about flirting, most people – particularly men – focus on the verbal element: the 'chatting-up', the problems
of knowing what to say, finding the right words, etc. In fact, the non-verbal element – body-language, tone of voice, etc.
– is much more important, particularly in the initial stages of a flirtation.
When you first meet new people, their initial impression of you will be based 55% on your appearance and bodylanguage, 38% on your style of speaking and only 7% on what you actually say.
Also, their non-verbal signals will tell you much more about their feelings towards you than the words they use. We
show attitudes such as liking and disliking not by what we say but by the way we say it and the posture, gestures and
expressions that accompany our speech.
The customary polite greeting "pleased to meet you", for example, can convey anything from 'I find you really
attractive' to 'I am not the slightest bit interested in you', depending on the tone of voice, facial expression, position and
posture of the speaker.