COMMUNICATION: How To Flirt, Start Conversations And Keep Them Going? The Art Of Succesful Flirting and Dating | Page 42

Five Easy Steps to Better Communication
by Jane Collingwood - February 27, 2007
Being able to express yourself clearly and being able to listen well can help
you avoid a great deal of stress in your closest relationship. Unfortunately, we
are more likely to communicate ineffectively with our partner just at the time
when we most need to get our point across. In fact, communication itself often
is a major source of difficulty.
When we feel pressured, we may not keep our partner up to date. Often we
fail to listen properly because we are preoccupied. But effectively
communicating our feelings and ideas can prevent unnecessary
misunderstandings and tensions. It’s a good idea to try to open up channels of
communication as much as possible. You might need to look actively for time
to talk with your partner, such as during car trips or washing dishes.
Effective communication becomes even more crucial during high-stress times
such as holidays. Little things can seem much bigger on important days which
come with high expectations.
Make a conscious effort to practice the following basic communication skills:

Listening.
Effective listening requires concentration, tolerance and sensitivity. Concentration means focusing solely on what
the speaker is saying. Tolerance involves keeping an open mind to what the other person is saying, rather than being
judgmental or defensive. Sensitivity means taking on board the feelings being expressed as well as the words.
Under stress, you are less likely to listen well. It’s a good habit
to ask your partner to repeat what he or she has said if you doubt
that you fully understood. Being a good listener means you will
be kept better informed.

Expressing yourself.
First you need to listen to yourself to know what you want to get
across. If you feel confused, spend a few quiet moments going
over your thoughts. Then you’ll be ready to state your message
clearly, honestly and constructively.
Avoid negative generalizations about the other person. In
arguments, attempt to stay on the topic which is the real problem
and avoid generalizing, point-scoring and venting your anger just
to calm yourself down. Positive resolutions won’t come from
attacking.
Learn when to give feedback and how to say no to unreasonable
demands.