COMMUNICATION: How To Flirt, Start Conversations And Keep Them Going? The Art Of Succesful Flirting and Dating | Page 18

touch on the arm, to draw attention, express support or emphasise a point, is likely to be acceptable and to enhance your
companion's positive feelings towards you.
If even this most innocuous of touches produces a negative reaction – such as pulling the arm away, increasing distance,
frowning, turning away or other expressions of displeasure or anxiety – you might as well give up now. Unless your
companion is exceptionally shy and reserved, negative reactions to a simple arm-touch probably indicate dislike or
distrust.
If your companion finds you likeable or attractive, a brief arm-touch should prompt
some reciprocal increase in intimacy. This may not be as obvious as a return of your
arm-touch, but watch for other positive body-language signals, such as increased eyecontact, moving closer to you, more open posture or postural echo, more smiling, etc.
Your arm-touch may even prompt an increase in verbal intimacy, so listen for any
disclosure of personal information, or more personal questions.
If you see or hear signs of a positive reaction to your arm-touch, you can, after a
reasonable interval, try another arm-touch, this time slightly less fleeting. If this
results in a further escalation of verbal or non-verbal intimacy from your companion,
you might consider moving to the next stage: a hand-touch.
Remember that a hand-touch, unless it is the conventional handshake of greeting or
parting, is much more personal than an arm-touch. By touching your companion's
hand, you are opening negotiations towards a higher degree of intimacy, so keep it
light and brief: a question, not an order.
A negative reaction to your hand-touch, such as the non-verbal signals of displeasure
or anxiety mentioned above, does not necessarily mean that your companion dislikes
you, but it is a clear indication that your attempt to advance to the next level of intimacy is either premature or
unwelcome. A very positive reaction, involving a significant increase in verbal or non-verbal intimacy, can be taken as
permission to try another hand-touch at an appropriate moment.
Highly positive reactions to a second hand-touch – such as a definite and unambiguous attempt to move closer to you,
reciprocal arm- and hand-touching, along with significantly more personal questions, more disclosure of personal
information and more expression of emotion – can be taken as permission to proceed, with caution, to a higher level of
intimacy. The next stages might involve a hand-squeeze or hand-hold, repeated twice before moving on to an arm over
the shoulders, or perhaps a brief knee-touch. (Males should note, however, that positive reactions to any of these
touches can not be taken as permission to grope.)
You will have noticed that we advise performing each touch two times before progressing to the next level. This is
because repeating the same touch, perhaps with a sli