COMMUNICATION: How To Flirt, Start Conversations And Keep Them Going? In Depth Guide to Approaching, Flirting and Dating | Page 81

Five Easy Steps to Better Communication
by Jane Collingwood - February 27, 2007
Being able to express yourself clearly and being able to listen well can help you
avoid a great deal of stress in your closest relationship. Unfortunately, we are
more likely to communicate ineffectively with our partner just at the time when
we most need to get our point across. In fact, communication itself often is a
major source of difficulty.
When we feel pressured, we may not keep our partner up to date. Often we fail
to listen properly because we are preoccupied. But effectively communicating
our feelings and ideas can prevent unnecessary misunderstandings and tensions.
It’s a good idea to try to open up channels of communication as much as
possible. You might need to look actively for time to talk with your partner,
such as during car trips or washing dishes.
Effective communication becomes even more crucial during high-stress times
such as holidays. Little things can seem much bigger on important days which
come with high expectations.
Make a conscious effort to practice the following basic communication skills:

Listening.
Effective listening requires concentration, tolerance and sensitivity. Concentration means focusing solely on what the
speaker is saying. Tolerance involves keeping an open
mind to what the other person is saying, rather than
being judgmental or defensive. Sensitivity means
taking on board the feelings being expressed as well as
the words.
Under stress, you are less likely to listen well. It’s a
good habit to ask your partner to repeat what he or she
has said if you doubt that you fully understood. Being a
good listener means you will be kept better informed.

Expressing yourself.
First you need to listen to yourself to know what you
want to get across. If you feel confused, spend a few
quiet moments going over your thoughts. Then you’ll
be ready to state your message clearly, honestly and
constructively.
Avoid negative generalizations about the other person.
In arguments, attempt to stay on the topic which is the
real problem and avoid generalizing, point-scoring and
venting your anger just to calm yourself down. Positive resolutions won’t come from attacking.
Learn when to give feedback and how to say no to unreasonable demands.